Stuck in a ‘Better Time’ Mindset?

By | October 19, 2019

The greatest thing you can do in order to get that clarity and that understanding of the yourself back, is begin training and mastering the present moment mindset. Often when men are dealing with that inevitable midlife transition period of their lives there can be a lot of ruminating around the current life one is leading, and a desire to go back to his youthful years. This frame of mind is very much stuck in the past and is only good for one thing.

When I work with clients who want nothing more than to bring back the way that they felt when they were young, I will ask them to recall for me a few of the most positively impactful memories they have from their childhood or young adult years. These are often experiences of excitement, joy, and youthful curiosity. Times when they felt entirely at peace, and felt a powerful sense of freedom.

With these experiences I am able to create a roadmap by which you can make these experiences occur automatically, and become a natural part of your daily life. In this case going back in time is constructive, but we are not doing it from a place of lack, we are doing it from a place of healing and hope.

Your next chapter can feel very much like your earliest chapters of life if you like. Unfortunately there can sometimes be a trade-off between our childlike selves in favor of our adult selves, and many of us can’t see a world or a mindset where we can have both. Be the adult chasing our professional and personal goals, feeling a sense of mature achievement, and handling the responsibilities that might have once felt heavy to us.

We can do these things all from a childlike mindset of excitement, peacefulness, and joy. When we interact with children they are unhampered, they are happy, and full of laughter and excitement. Some of us know adults who have held onto these qualities and yet thrive and accomplish great achievements throughout their lives. That’s because somewhere along the way those men never made the child mind trade-off that many of us do. This trade-off is often taught to us by our parents, and by others in our community as something that must happen at some point. Things like “stop acting like a child”, “the world is a hard place, you better get used to it”.

I would contend that if you were in a mindset of “the world is an exciting, kind, and amazing place” one would react differently when hardship does arise. It is all about the way in which one primes their mindset, and their assumptions about when the next shoe will drop, when will the next bad thing happen. Versus when the next positive and good thing will happen.

That individual always sees the silver lining when difficulty arises. I am describing for you a mindset of resilience and happiness right now, and this is 100% possible to cultivate until it becomes naturally occurring on a daily basis, it simply becomes who you are as a person.


The Good Men Project